…Silence is the true friend that never betrays.


October 2012

u have a way with words… u dont say

another week passes… standing in the shadows … trying to recooperate from the haunting… time has a sick way of ripping and twisting memories so that it makes things ‘okay’… a blessing and punishment all served nicely with a cup of confusion…yes… that’s the special i always get…. it always makes sense to me… i have to or else things would not turn out ‘okay’…. an uphill battle down a one way street.. overlooking lost hopes and dreams…. the fire burns beneath….. your sexy?!…



When u think u know it all… u just dont…

noone knows the whole story.
you may hear bits and pieces of information here and there.
she said.he said.they said.i heard.
but the vast majority of what u hear is one sided or just pure gossip.
never blindly believe what u hear right away.
question it.especially if its gossip.
i know the u?

Who cares.

We’re all alone in this world we live, although some are unable to notice it.

refuse to start conversations because I know other people do care who they socialize with, of course I have a select few I very much hope will talk, but I won’t impose on their silence without an invitation


freedom, care, loyalty, desire

a wise friend once said…
  • I am real, I refuse to hide myself in my own home.
  • It will always end, how much difference does it make if  it ends in loss of interest instead of death?
  • You let yourself become dependent on her caring for you, but you have to remember that people will always put themselves first even if they’re tricking themselves into believing it’s for you. Never become dependent and never lose your temper.
  • If you’re depending on someone to be there or do something for you and they don’t come through you are down in the dirt with nothing left.
  • ok, if you love chocolate so much, but for me, I can’t eat it because it makes me sick…my body can’t support it and stuff. So I don’t like chocolate, but you love it. Does the fact that you love it and it makes me sick change the actual chocolate at all?
  • i avoid compliments. sorry. They never did the world good.
  • Odd how beliefs change people’s actions sometimes making their beliefs somewhat true.
  • oh, I get it, you insult yourself before I can.
  • I’m willing to help. You’ve been misguided.
  • There is no one in this world you will ever need, you have to remember that. and you have to remember it’s not real. no sense of touch or feeling is truly real. Your feelings are just searching for a reason. We went too far and we can never go back. suicide was unheard of. pain was only physical. We’ve made so many things that make everything so much easier which allows way too much thought. We were never suppose to be like this.
  • What pain do you plan on escaping? What happened? No you aren’t, you’ll see. but you don’t miss her. No love, watch yourself. Why is it that we are the only ones to have relationships? Other animals don’t. We’ve lost our way. All you have to do is find it. Do you understand? You don’t understand who I am. I cry. I hurt to. It lessened though, don’t worry, you’ll be saved. All you have to do is wait and find your way. crying is healing, they say it doesn’t help but it does, it lets the pain seep out with the tears. You may still hurt, but it’s bearable, sometimes all you need is a trigger. This pain will fade just like all others.
  • Wait so what has she done? Kinda ditch you, forgotten what you’ve given?
  • I thought I had way too much compassion but really I don’t care at all.
  • What I want and what I’m willing to do are very different things.
  • no, that’s really difficult. I can’t remember anything people say to me unless I repeat it in my head while they say it.
  • So this leaves me without an answer because I cannot guess on the standards you’ve given.
  • You’d have to leave behind your past to leave behind yourself. and that’s not possible.
  • no, I’m not wise, I just had more time to consider things.
  • why not listen so people can see what you’re listening to?
  • That’s the thing though, I’ve risen above the pain, you simply have to do the same.
where does all yer pain come from in one word?
Betrayal comes from lies, my dear.

What Happened?

its ok, ive grown used to it.
i dont mind…
u can turn yer back on me too, he said. . .
as he watched the last one awaken.
dont go.
why am i the one
the joke is on me,
is it over soon tho … hey?
my right
your left
i hate my conscious for reminding me of my subconscious
it makes me wither away into bits of pain
who are u?
what have u done…
am i the evil one?
your tongue leaves scars
ouch… who cares?
thought so, but i needed a mirror for resurrection.
am i alone to see the sadness in its reflection… fuk it the devil gets his due.
the dinnerware was cold to the touch
yeah, but why does it feel like this?

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